Riot Control Gifts

"Impressive brawl skills."

Bubble Gum Farms.

"Our open-space office really stimulates information sharing when everyone removes their noise-cancelling headphones."

At home - 'small and early' - refreshments.

"I'm here to join the riot squad: you see, I have a natural ability to disperse crowds. . ."

"Says here that 50 baboons escaped from the Paris Zoo! I think this explains the Nutella riots!"

Justice for a heckler.

"Thnakes thuppothed bo be thkarey..."

'Honey! Hurry and help me bar the door! I saw a bunch of rowdy senior citizens in parrot masks down by the arena!'

Boot shiner puts a smiley on a policemen's boot.

A policeman and protester in the same family.

Noah's Ark gets a bit overcrowded.

'That concludes my prepared remarks. I'll take questions that fit my prepared answers.'

Man asking for a job keeping order on polling day

Stadium usher of the month.

Drum School/Sleep Clinic/Fire Alarm Testing Lab

'Crowd control has never been easier since this Moses guy joined up.'

Reverse speech

The rioter's head-quarters

The neighbour of the beast

'I get my best riot training at home.'

Noise Abatement Society

'It's great for crowd control on walkabouts'

Ignorance Begets chaos

'I see your future ... it's gonna be a riot!'

"Take two, twice a day to help control rage. By the way, I put them in a child-proof bottle and overcharged you."

'Must you always bring your work home with you?'

'I told you we weren't pet people.'

The public and private lives of a football steward

"It's a completely ethical water canon: it uses soft water only."

Noise pollution

"I find it tends to instantly lightens the mood."

Hope for Jobless College Grads

'A hacker broke into our computer and, in an act of random kindness, organized our student files.'

Security guard disperses football team.