Riot Control Gifts

"Impressive brawl skills."

"Our open-space office really stimulates information sharing when everyone removes their noise-cancelling headphones."

At home - 'small and early' - refreshments.

"I'm here to join the riot squad: you see, I have a natural ability to disperse crowds. . ."

Justice for a heckler.

A policeman and protester in the same family.

Boot shiner puts a smiley on a policemen's boot.

Noah's Ark gets a bit overcrowded.

"Thnakes thuppothed bo be thkarey..."

'That concludes my prepared remarks. I'll take questions that fit my prepared answers.'

Man asking for a job keeping order on polling day

Stadium usher of the month.

Drum School/Sleep Clinic/Fire Alarm Testing Lab

'Crowd control has never been easier since this Moses guy joined up.'

The rioter's head-quarters

The neighbour of the beast

Reverse speech

'It's great for crowd control on walkabouts'

Ignorance Begets chaos

'I see your future ... it's gonna be a riot!'

Noise Abatement Society

'I get my best riot training at home.'

"Take two, twice a day to help control rage. By the way, I put them in a child-proof bottle and overcharged you."

'Must you always bring your work home with you?'

'I told you we weren't pet people.'

Noise pollution

"I find it tends to instantly lightens the mood."

The public and private lives of a football steward

"It's a completely ethical water canon: it uses soft water only."

'A hacker broke into our computer and, in an act of random kindness, organized our student files.'

Security guard disperses football team.

Giant microphone at a riot.