Ring Side Chuckler Pillows

'...And when the bell rings, come out fighting. But first, please switch your cell phones to 'vibrate.''

"G.P.S. FOR GUYS"

'You will now be presented with your degrees. That is, of course, after you jump through another one of our little hoops.'

'Fancy a swift half?'

World of Cow.

"Year after year we sit here quietly raising eyebrows, son."

"The cookies are always stale."

Philosophy of Forestry: 'How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Walt? Roger? Steve? Anyone?'

"...heat escapes through your head. Lose the hat and you might make it through April"

Keyboard in Heaven

"You've got to admit, he wears the 'that dog won't hunt' label with a lot of class!"

Rudolph unblocking a chimney

"I bit someone once. It tasted like chicken."

Erm...what the hell is cud, anyway?

'It's bad news I'm afraid,we're asprins'

'Does the suicide clause apply if he eats himself to death?'

"What's all this I've been hearing about the Cloud?"

"I keep getting into a flap."

'...explain to me again why you are burying the shoe you threw..'

"...and the undisputed winner is..."

Yoga - moooooooo.

"He thinks you're playing fetch."

"Sorry for the confusion, but it's Poetry Night, not Poultry Night."

Merry Christmas

What your acoustic guitar says about you

'Hey - I was in line first! There you go again...messing up the pecking order!'

"Sad, isn't it? And he won't admit he has a problem."

'Forget the golf. I just got a nibble!'

Overdone bird jokes

'I don't think I am the worst caddy in the world... That would be just too much of a coincidence!'

'What do you mean, stuff the chicken? It wasn't empty.'

"Blimey, who'd have thought that at this level of play a contestant would stoop to an illegal false belly."

"I think he wants you to listen for awhile."

"They say the mortality rates could be as high as 3%..Better buy more toilet rolls!"

Man, bike, chicken, crossing the road.