Rice Connoisseur T-Shirts

'All the rice you can eat... with one chopstick.'

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Counting ribs

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"I come here for the pepper."

'Burl says it only works with corn though if you want to try it.'

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

Full English Breakfast.

A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

"Regular service or affected?"

'Love me little, love me long.'

this bordeaux speaks for itself

'Do I really have to remind you again about which one of us earns the truffles, Jean-Claude?'

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

"I'm retaining doughnuts."

Cereal Tasting.

"I think I'll have the fish. No, wait... yes, the fish." "So many choices... what is a Reuben? Never mind, I'll have the fish, too." "I always get the same thing, but it's so good. Alright, I'll have the fish."

Sister to brother: 'It's kind of like alphabet soup, only for numbers crunchers.'

"May I take your plate or are you still nibbling?"

"Quick swig first?"

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."