Rice Connoisseur T-Shirts

'All the rice you can eat... with one chopstick.'

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Counting ribs

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

"I come here for the pepper."

'Burl says it only works with corn though if you want to try it.'

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

Full English Breakfast.

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

'Love me little, love me long.'

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

"Your mother texted us that you're not getting enough to eat, so I brought you twice what you ordered."

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground

"Regular service or affected?"

this bordeaux speaks for itself

'Do I really have to remind you again about which one of us earns the truffles, Jean-Claude?'

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

"Quick swig first?"

"I think I'll have the fish. No, wait... yes, the fish." "So many choices... what is a Reuben? Never mind, I'll have the fish, too." "I always get the same thing, but it's so good. Alright, I'll have the fish."

"I'm retaining doughnuts."

"May I take your plate or are you still nibbling?"

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

Cereal Tasting.

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'