Reward Program Enthusiast Gifts

"This is as far as your air miles take you."

"Carrots just didn't get me going anymore, so I switched to chocolate instead..."

"So, it's agreed - we lay off the stick and hit them hard with the carrot."

'... and finally, to my business partner I leave my corporate parking space.'

'It's a demonstration by retired CEOs who refuse to give up their bonuses.'

Perks

Geoffrey Rush

'...well you say you're Stephen Hawking but as Eddie Redmayne said he was going to turn up in character we're not too sure."

Dangling Carrots

'I brought in a big order and my boss gave me a feather for my cap.'

'He's a control freak but the treats are good.'

'I do my best work when I'm being paid a huge salary.'

We don't think your 12 million dollar bonus is obscene. We think it's 12 million little ways to say 'I love you.'

'Call me a cockeyed optimist but I still believe big executive bonuses and perks can buy happiness.'

'I warned you not to ask for a shorter work week.'

Our dental plan consists of a toothbrush and toothpaste.

'You're addicted to big bonuses. But the good news is there's a patch to treat that.'

Monkey casino study.

'We're with you half way, sir. We'll return our government bailout if we can keep our executive bonuses.'

'The position carries no salary but does provide for full medical and dental coverage, with three weeks vacation.'

You wanted to see me again, boss? Yes. I realized you never gave me my Christmas bonus. What're you talking about? You're the boss. You give me a bonus, I don't give you a bonus. Exactly. The key word in employer-employee relationship is relationship. One-sided relationships never work, Rudy. I've calculated the amount you would have paid me if you hadn't been taking me for granted for 16 years. Very bad man.

'We've ended up paying our 'golden hellos', golden 'return from holidays' and Prickman wanted a golden 'thank you' after coming back from a toilet break!'

"God it was rough coming into the office this morning after the awards ceremony" "It must have been, you work two doors down"

'Getting a big bonus to risk other people's money makes me wonder if I am part of a conspiracy.'

'Never forget that the best things in life are freebies.'

If you apply for my credit card, you can earn points toward your next guilt trip.

"Wow, you've got tons of loyalty points. Someone's a good boy!"

"The salary is excellent and the benefits are outstanding. So... which would you prefer?"

"I'm not sure you're taking this bonus cap thing seriously."

'I know I just started working here, but is there any way I could get a company car, a membership to a country club and use of the corporate jet? This would greatly enhance my performance in the mail room.'

'Retire now and we'll throw in this set of steak knives! But wait, that's not all...'

Punch Card: 'The next divorce is on me.'

"I always choose immediate gratification over vague rewards at some unspecified time in the future."

'It's not exactly 'cheap' healthcare, but for each test we run, you accumulate frequent-test reward points.'

"Fixed-term contracts, social benefits, pension plans, health insurance. . . we have nothing to complain about. And that's why we're on strike!"