Retro Therapy Seeker T-Shirts

'We relieved stress the old fashioned ways... slamming down a real telephone, stealing reams of carbon paper, sniffing white correction fluid...'

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

"But can't I be feared and loved?"

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

Pet a Puppy

"I've finally found a therapist who understands options."

"I understand the revisionists are hot on your trail, Professor Delauney."

"Well, if you're still awake when the time changes, you'll lose an hour of overthinking everything, too."

'I hate Mondays.'

"Have you ever thought of just knocking this 'half-empty glass' OFF the counter?"

The Physiciatrist...

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

Before pagers,mobile phones and the internet.

'I guess it was a breakthrough - My free-floating anxiety crashed.'

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

"Tell me more about your fear of going bald."

'I hate all holidays!'

Psychiatrist says: 'Oh, no! Not another fruit cake?'

"Incidentally, my men's group has retrograded into a poker game."

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

Turmoil change.

Bob began seeing his mother, who gave him up for adoption, professionally, three times a week. It didn't help much.

"The damsels, the knights, I guess I'm just burnt out."

How to cope in Los Angeles vs. New York

Psychiatrist with bust of Freud

"Nd how did tht mke u feel?"