Retro Renovateur Gifts

"I've had it with this kitchen!"

Painting by the numbers for adults

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

"Remember when it was 'The Dog and Duck'?"

'I love my new easylife artist's easel.'

Painting the Ceiling

'I found the termites!'

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

'Charlotte's Website' ('The children's book classic rewritten for the electronic era!')

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

Somewhere in America... the day after "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" came to an end.

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

"Midtown Vinyl. Vintage albums + EPs. Midtown Ink. Vintage books + newspapers."

"I find you can't have too many man caves."

'And when you're done here honey, I have a nice periwinkle picked out for the foyer!'

'A 50's vintage automobile...a billiards room. YOu, my firend, have got it all.'

' ... and this is the half bath.'

"Sklar, Liebowitz, Rubin and Kaminsky... Attorneys a go-go."

'Have you got one of those things you use to knock nails in...?'

"Za Za Bling Bling goes man hunting."

"Hello, and welcome to 'Homes Under the Hammer. . .'"

'Dad, this is something I knocked up in the shed.'

"Yo, how's it swinging?"

"Unfortunately, father never quite got over being asked to reform the band for Live Aid in the '80s."

"We can be old-timey office workers for Halloween."

'How are you doing on your side?'

We'll take a carpenter, painter, plumber...

"I miss the old cubicles."

'It's official. We replace the words worn-out, old-fashion, and obsolete with classic, vintage and retro.'

Mick Jagger.

"And this model features a nifty, manual back-up device."

Cut out and keep your own D.I.Y expert.