Retro Myth Fan Gifts

"Oh--you're right. I see mine now. Sorry about that!"

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

Meet Me Outside St. Louis

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

Before the Internet

'I'm too hot to trot.'

"For the last time, I’m not Bigfoot — I’m Larry from Vermont!"

Gramophone dreams of mp3 player.

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

Old rocker.

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

The Beer Garden of Eden: "This hard cider is life-changing. Try a sip."

An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.

"I'm just saying, maybe we wouldn't need the swords if we didn't wear these clothes."

No time for sirtaki now, Greece!

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

"Do you do much walking?"

Drive in movies.

"Remember you told me to put my client list on my computer."

'Now that's what I call a really old tree!'

'No Bonanza, no Gunsmoke, no Led Zeppelin... what a sad state of affairs this is! I'm glad I'm not in your generation...'

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

"And make sure you get my daughter home before sunrise..!"

'No, I won't be celebrating St George's Day.'

"Everybody comfortable? Got what they want? Know their place?"