Retro Grade Sleuth Gifts

'Hey mom, look! One of Dad's old report cards! Boy, has he got a lot of explaining to do!'

A boy acting suspiciously

$1: Family Secrets

That's supposed to say garage sale!

Anderson Cooper as a Kid. Today, an expose that asks the question: Who IS Simon, and why must we do what he says?

'Should I just hit 'reply to all' and save the government the trouble?'

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

'The police is looking for a teenager who reads books... I bet they'll never solve this case!'

'Looks like the victim was trying to tell us something,'

Mysteries.

How hit songs get their names

"...I have the oddest 'earliest memory' and I wanted to share it. It's just as wekkm I guess. Knowing some man secretly attended my first birthday party has caused me to question my parentage all these years....Especially since Mother Park made me promise not to tell Father that the potted plant was acually J. Edgar Hoover."

"You want me to explain how there were two doughnuts in the larder and now there is only one? Easy, it was too dark in there to see the second one."

'Loose lips sink principalships.'

"It's two sizes too big, but it fits."

Two men converse secretively

Catholic Priest Gay Mardi Gras

'You must have something in my size?'

The Banana Crime

'I let Facebook and My-Space do most of the leg work. I just park outside houses wearing a trilby.'

Arthur Conan Doyle

One of the pyramids of giza has had its top stolen!

Though it WAS possible that Wade's dog had eaten his homework, Mrs. Vorkley tested the remnants for traces of dog saliva.

'I am the 'fly on the wall' you speak of. What would you like to know?'

"Do you have this blouse in XXXXXXXXXL?"

"I bought it online...I guess size 2 is different in Europe."

Julian Assange

wikileaks

"...between a medium and a large - I like to call it 'Marge'."

Detective questions woman with body in hat.

"I miss the challenge of the old days, the excitement, intrigue..."

'It's just homework...there's no conspiracy.'

"Well sold all OUR junk - he bought all this new junk off the table next door."

C.V.-Mind your own business, "Welcome to the CIA."

Wikileaks