Retro Grade Sleuth Pillows

'Hey mom, look! One of Dad's old report cards! Boy, has he got a lot of explaining to do!'

A boy acting suspiciously

$1: Family Secrets

That's supposed to say garage sale!

'Should I just hit 'reply to all' and save the government the trouble?'

'The police is looking for a teenager who reads books... I bet they'll never solve this case!'

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

'Looks like the victim was trying to tell us something,'

Mysteries.

"...I have the oddest 'earliest memory' and I wanted to share it. It's just as wekkm I guess. Knowing some man secretly attended my first birthday party has caused me to question my parentage all these years....Especially since Mother Park made me promise not to tell Father that the potted plant was acually J. Edgar Hoover."

"You want me to explain how there were two doughnuts in the larder and now there is only one? Easy, it was too dark in there to see the second one."

'Loose lips sink principalships.'

Two men converse secretively

"It's two sizes too big, but it fits."

Catholic Priest Gay Mardi Gras

'You must have something in my size?'

The Banana Crime

One of the pyramids of giza has had its top stolen!

Arthur Conan Doyle

"I bought it online...I guess size 2 is different in Europe."

'I am the 'fly on the wall' you speak of. What would you like to know?'

"Do you have this blouse in XXXXXXXXXL?"

"...between a medium and a large - I like to call it 'Marge'."

C.V.-Mind your own business, "Welcome to the CIA."

'It's just homework...there's no conspiracy.'

Detective questions woman with body in hat.

"Well sold all OUR junk - he bought all this new junk off the table next door."