Retouching Pillows

'31 years in graphic design eh, so I shouldn't be surprised you've retouched your photo on your CV.'

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

Campaign for Plain English

A Copy Editor and His Dog

The Missing Sock Returns

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

Punctuation Police

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

'Hello, Acme signs? This is the Berger & Coles Law Office...'

"Desmond likes to live in the moment. . . and that moment happens to be 1960."

Early Adopter...Early Opt-Outer

Early Colour TV

'Someday TVs will be in big boxes on the floor.'

Personnel - "This letter of recommendation is full of misspellings!"

"Baxter...about this report...your punctuation, spelling and grammar are perfect. No one can understand it!"

Contemporary English Lesson: The Cat was Sat on the Mat.

'Jerry's 'old school'.'

'Don't bother cleaning out your desk. We'll be hiring you back as a consultant for half the salary and no benefits.'

"No—You're thinking dog years—Editor years are twice as many."

"Still suffering from writer's block?"

"It's about the murder of an editor who refuses to publish a writer's work..."

"Various entrances to the gates of Hell."

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

With the popularity of spell-checkers, many people are turning to the new speech-checkers.

Your resume begins Once Upon A Time...I like that!

The Old Time Television Channel

"Moby Richard by Herman Melville" "Wonderful! Not sure about the title—let's discuss editor."

Curling your hair for no reason

"Confounded spell checker... never catches anything."

Ironing Punctuation

Colonial Larrysburg.

One of the failed candidates for the copyrighters job wants to know 'wat was rong with his applicashun'.

'The grammar's awful and the spelling's atrocious - otherwise it's an impressive CV.'