Retirement Navigator Gifts

it's his way of easing into full retirement.

He's back from retirement as a consultant.

"Your contents have shifted."

'We divested ourselves of a division here, a subsidiary there, a branch here, an affiliate there...there's nothing left!'

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

Better times ahead.

'The best grants lie that-a-ways, Ma'am.'

'Unfortunately, there's no cure. It's called growing older.'

Midlife: You Are Here.

Menopause and the City

Baby At The Entrance Of The Maze Of Life

"Fill'er up with testosterone."

'I'll see your Social Security Supplement and raise you Medicare and a Canadian pharmacy ID.'

'After the age of fifty the 'c' word always means colonoscopy.'

Wiseguys/Smartasses/Eggheads/Smarty Pants

Passing the Pension Time Bomb

Doubt or Certainy

Parkinson Ave - Alzheimer Drive

"My name is Jane and I've been forty-six for 30 days."

Middle Age: When the four letter word you use most is 'What?'

Clair regretted having her husband sit in while her doctor described possible side effects of menopause.

"Just what we've been looking for...a happy medium."

Adult Book Store. Leaving home. Finding a Job. Getting Married. Buying a House. Raising Kids. Living with Stress.

'It's quite common with men your age. You've got a silver duct tapeworm.'

'Last week I got a lovely watch for my wife!'

'Now that I'm retired, I have time for state and national meetings, but I no longer need the information.'

Cyber Fight

'I'll have what's left of my people get in touch with what's left of your people.'

"I used to be innocent. Then I was naive. Now I'm just dumb."

'To become ONE with the Universe, you must first become COMPLIANT with the Universe!'

'No pep, shaky, noisy, overheating. Right. Anything wrong with the car?'

'Just give her a chance to cool down. It's probably hormonal.'

Memories/New Experiences

"I'm 'The Drunk Divorced Overweight Chain-Smoking Middle Aged Man.' 'The Wise Man' is on the next peak."

'It seems that you lack a sense of direction. I'll send you a better map.'