Retirement Home Staff Pillows

"He may be 90 but he's got the body of an 85 year old."

'...And then, apparently, it just went berserk when someone insisted on having 'Podcast'.'

"Put him back and go and make your own guy!"

To protest the lousy food at the nursing home, the guys, just like back in the day, staged a 'sit-in'. Unfortunately, nobody noticed.

Mt. Moriah Church Senior Citizens

"We've decided your suggestion to have a day care center here at work has merit."

Happy Retirement

'The position carries no salary, just healthcare coverage.'

"Me, I think Master and Mistress are incompetent: why else would they need a butler, 3 maids, 2 cooks, 5 gardeners, a pool boy and 2 personal assistants?"

"They've swapped the pub for staying in and taking their meds."

"I'm retired now - since I sold my 'know when you're naughty or nice' technology to NSA last year."

'Come die with me.'

Liberties: civil and uncivil.

"We're trying to give geriatrics a sexier image..."

Master of the house states that he will be detained in the city on business when he learns that there is cold mutton for dinner.

Potts is having a job keeping up with the young turks.

'It's nice to see you all,but I was just going out to work.'

Capturing a Cook

"Her ladyship isn't in—wait, yes, no—so sorry, she's out."

'Shady Acres Nursing Home - Stockbroker on duty in case social security is privatized.'

"Would you like to make a contribution to the old folks home?" "Sure, when can I bring him in?"

"It's Parkins, sir; we're 'aving a bit of a time below stairs."

'I don't see how you were able to work for so many years. Since you've retired you can't do a thing.'

Flunkey asking for a larger salary and not happy to be compared to a lower order of clergy

'We put the little old lady of Threadneedle Street into a care home.'

"Phyllis needs to stop taking our staff meeting minutes."

Fat footman has been told he will be dismissed if he doeas not lose weight

'Ned, your repressed angst keeps tipping over and blocking my light.'

'To summarise the tariffs, sympathy is £19/day, empathy £27 and obsequy £34.'

"Your character references - Don't you know ANY of their last names?"

Interviewing for a new Servant

Taggers rest retirement village

Servant's Request

"He doesn't seem to be accepting retirement too well."

The new groom is a very young boy who says he ought to understand horses because he has been amongst them all his life