Retirement Dwellers Gifts

Invasion Of The Summer Aliens

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

Old snowboarder with a zimmerboard.

'I am not doing nothing ... I am perfecting inertia.'

Why Do Old Hippies Smile?

Retired Canadian t shirt guy.

'I love these senior citizen discounts.'

Vista Acres - A tanned community.

"Trust me. It's no big deal. I'm even tuning you out right now."

"They've swapped the pub for staying in and taking their meds."

"Why do I feel like your mother is going to blame this on my cleaning?"

'We can't really play Hide and Seek, there's nowhere to hide on the plains...'

'Come die with me.'

Suburban street.

Old Biker: Now that I'm a real biker, all the old babes will want my body.

'Ma, come see what just crawled out of the woodpile.'

"You've been a very bad man and we like that. So now, we're going to send you to London."

Three-Quarters Life Crisis

The Old Woman in the shoe questions her decision to spend her empty-nest years in a condo at a ski resort.'

"Meanwhile at Oak Vista Rest Home... In case of birthday cake fire break glass."

Beard, socks and sandals.

"Bad boys don't die. They just ride in to the sunset!"

"Boy, I have such a bad hangover! The guy I stung last night was drunk..."

"Leaving parties aren't as much fun since they put up the retirement age!"

A Country Boy Throws a Turnip at the Squire.

"Would you like to make a contribution to the old folks home?" "Sure, when can I bring him in?"

Taken By Surprise

"Show-off!"

"My bottom went to sleep."

'Hot dang! Ethel, check out Raymond's new twenty-twos!'