Retiree Friends T-Shirts

'Definitely the feel-good hit of the year.'

Albert & Myra - The End Story

"Why bother?"

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

"I can remember when a dollar was worth $47.32."

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

Heavy meals on wheels

"Honestly, John, I'm not angry! I was going to suggest you give up driving even before you hit my car in the parking lot!"

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

Mr. Evers specifically asked for a plain coffee, not an espresso.

Rejuvenile Delinquents.

"Well, Mr. Goddam Fancy-Pants Small-Town-Expose hot shot! What makes you think we don't all have lusty, kiss-and-tell memoirs boiling away inside us?"

'I'm fighting ageing.'

Remote Control Duck

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

"Just when I thought I had all the answers, I forgot what the questions were."

"I cranked up the dose a tad. Why should kids have all the fun?"

An old man plays a prank on the grim reaper

'Ferguson here will explain the 'worst case scenario' of Social Security Privatization.'

"They've swapped the pub for staying in and taking their meds."

"I'd like to get my withdrawal in either cryptocurrency or social-media exposure."

Medication for the elderly

'I can't make you younger...odometer tampering is against the law.'

"Well, Dr. Garcia said he's doing all he can, but he can't make me any younger. But I don't care about getting younger. I just want to keep getting older."

"We missed Fashion Week!"

". . . and wipe your feet before you go inside."

Checking for signs of life.