Retired Friends T-Shirts

Pensioners run riot on mobility scooters.

Do You Know Where Your Entitlements Are?

'Let's do something in bad taste.'

'So much for the great UNKNOWN campground.'

Help! I'm ROFL and ICGU!

"Why bother?"

Albert & Myra - The End Story

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

7 Dwarves of Retirement

"I can remember when a dollar was worth $47.32."

Which vaccines did they have when you were young? You cannot get under my skin, loser. Were you vaccinated against the black plague? Not bothering me. Were you vaccinated against leprosy? I am unaffected by you. Were you vaccinated against the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs? Munch mun - When's the last time someone shoved a syrupy pancake down your pants?

Mr. Evers specifically asked for a plain coffee, not an espresso.

Heavy meals on wheels

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

"Honestly, John, I'm not angry! I was going to suggest you give up driving even before you hit my car in the parking lot!"

"You know you're getting old when..."

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

Rejuvenile Delinquents.

Remote Control Duck

"Well, Mr. Goddam Fancy-Pants Small-Town-Expose hot shot! What makes you think we don't all have lusty, kiss-and-tell memoirs boiling away inside us?"

'I'm fighting ageing.'

"I like New York, but I miss sleeping drunk on my front lawn."

Man, Lemont … how long's it been? Twenty years? Just about. You still working at Pigville Pork Burgers? Nah … I got a job as the Candorville Chronicles White House correspondent. Then I went on to found Candorville.com, the internet's seventh largest source for news and opinion. Oh. That's cool. That's cool. How do you not know this? We're Facebook friends. I post links to my articles every day. We were roommates all through college, and you don't even read my updates? Facebook's for reading yo

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

"Just when I thought I had all the answers, I forgot what the questions were."

"I cranked up the dose a tad. Why should kids have all the fun?"

An old man plays a prank on the grim reaper

'Yes I think we did go to school together. Wasn't you the old headmistress?'

"You're right, they are statins."

'Ferguson here will explain the 'worst case scenario' of Social Security Privatization.'

'I can't make you younger...odometer tampering is against the law.'

"Well, Dr. Garcia said he's doing all he can, but he can't make me any younger. But I don't care about getting younger. I just want to keep getting older."