Retired Writer Pillows

'I'm afraid Raymond waited a bit to long to write his memoirs.'

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

Academics At The Beach: The Old Man And The Sea

'His workout regimen consists of 50 sit-downs every day.'

"Your brow is definitely more furrowed than it used to be!"

'I want to give my children all the things I never had. Then move in with them.'

'Can't you forget you were an art teacher?'

'Is that all you can do Just sitting there watching your old movies'

"I quit."

"Seriously, fellas, I can't get up."

'This is as close to a round up I'll ever get.'

'I said, I've decided to make myself available for the NBA draft.'

'Well, I've stopped racing professionally you see, so I can enjoy good food at long last...'

"I'm retired actor Daniel Day Lewis. They thought I was I was good. They don't know how good."

"I once loved a parade."

"Big choices today Mr. retired board of directors. 2 ply or 3 ply?"

"I'm sure he was a great blocker when he was playing, but I doubt he'll be a great ad blocker."

"Back in my day there weren't any delivery trucks, distribution centers and fancy computers! We just hopped door-to-door until our feet bled!"

I'm retired...I was tired yesterday and I'm tired again today.

"I used to be a racer: Giving people joy-rides is really really boring..."

Rugby golden oldies.

Bumper Stickers for Seniors.

"If exercise is so good for you, how come athletes retire at 35?"

(Retired) Jockeying for position.

Old man dusting bodybuilding trophies.

"I'm ordering curtains for our neighbor, the Retirement Home for Lawyers Without Briefs."

'Ooh... Bless you!'

"He's auditioning for a part in 'Conan The Octagenarian'."

"You could say I'm a war veteran. I'm a retired junior high teacher."