Retail Therapy Realist Gifts

More Crap

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

Cut Price

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

'What do you do with the time you save?'

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

'She's so put together!'

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

"T-shirt weather's coming. How ready are you?"

'This is too small. Get me a 12...How many times?! I'm a 10 or a 12 on top and a 12 or 14 on the bottom depending on the shop, the cut of the fabric, the ambient air temperature, and the rotation of Pluto...and we always try the 10 first capiche?'

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

"I shop, therefore I am."

"Wait a sec, I have a coupon around here somewhere."

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

Hamlet's struggle with online shopping addiction. To eBay or not to eBay.

'I'd like to return this, please.'

Stuff: You Don't Really Need But Still Don't Have.

"Sure, shopping online is faster and cheaper, but there's something almost sensuous about carrying an armload of packages!"

"Amazon's new A.I. just 'gets' me."

'They've certainly got designs on your purse!'

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

"Shopping! Now that's what I call quality time!"

"Do you do much walking?"

"It's the only way I can justify buying so many shoes."

"Some fitting room. Nothing fits!"

'I love shopping for clothing I don't need with money I don't have.'

"Everything's gone up."