Retail Riddle Solver T-Shirts

'We're looking for a cashier...'

Poor Customer Service

"Your total is $10.97 and this is only $6."

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

'I'll give you a clue. The answer is a number, not a fruit.'

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

Oedipus

One can hardly be expected to solve the riddle of existence without a computer

"Dear Diary: Today I picked a peck of pickled peppers."

Answers to last week's brain-teasers

Mall 'maze' directory bewilders shopper.

"Here comes Santa! I'm his number one fan!"

'It's a real conundrum. Not sure if I should open it, or beat it.'

'I can understand Heisenberg's equation and Schrodinger's equation for quantum mechanics but I cannot understand derivative trading.'

"It was going to be a high-rise office building. But after three bricks, they ran out of money."

Cryptologists Anonymous

"It's all hypothetical, of course, but how much wood do you think you could chuck?"

'What goes ho, ho, ho, plop?'

"Maybe the alignment's off. It's been acting a little buggy."

"I want an eponymous retail empire when I grow up, Greg. What do you want?"

"Let's just agree to disagree." "I suggested that first!"

"I give up. What's black and white and red all over?"

'Okay, I give up. What is black,has two wings and fourteen legs?'

'Soon I will have proved it ONCE AND FOR ALL!'

"Miss. you said that a single rabbit could reproduce a hundred times a year? What about a married rabbit?"

'We never act on market rumors until they pass the 'squelch' test.'

Wordplay: Fertilizer.

"See - when interest rates go down, stocks go up. And when rates go up, stocks go down. Except when they don't."

"Those were the toughest tryouts I've ever had. Everyone has shown great improvement, but I only have one slot open. Congratulations, Gracie! You're the newest member of our academic decathlon team!"

"Your wife probably doesn't understand you because you always sound muffled."

What's grey, has four legs and a trunk?

"I didn't say WE were going on a double date. I said I was going on a double date."

'We're conducting a shopper-flow study for the new giant Oakdale mall.'