Retail Renegades T-Shirts

Supermarket checkout sigs read: 'Eight items or less; Cash only; I'll think of something.'

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

'You're developing a reputation as something of a cowboy, Henderson.'

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

Pirates at the mall.

"Ha! Today we informed the boss about our rights!"

How Do You Like My Moseying Along?

Smoke and Mirrors: Harold couldn't work out why his new store wasn't getting any customers.

'Why can't I park it here? I'm just getting my moneys worth.'

"That last customer thinks I should fire you."

Now entering: Space. Population - wouldn't you like to know.

'Well, yes, when you put it that way, I am a selfish male afraid of commitment, but 'Lone Wolf' sounds better...'

'Conglomo Corporation: Proud manufacturer of outrageously useless stuff you apparently can't live without.'

Letting agent on the phone: 'OK, so there's fungus in the bathroom - but on the plus side, it IS organic.'

"Whaddya mean line ball? The ball was out! O.U.T.! You blind or something?"

Complaints (just kidding).

Solar Storm Expected!

"Declared Victory Garden"

"I made a big mistake getting into ladies underwear..."

Bureau of alcohol, tobacco, firearms and other neat stuff.

'Eat. Sleep all winter. These are your resolutions?'

'Good heavens, Margaret, the bailout was for wall street, not for you.'

"They do require a jacket and tie but they're not real dogmatic about it."

Abuse or harassment of staff will not be tolerated

'As many items as I want or no customer!'

"Don't you DARE argue with me you ***(****) or I'll **** your ****."

"Mr McNab gives primal scream therapy for shoplifters."

'And I got this scar when I got in a crush of plump women rushing to buy Leviathongs at the mall sale...'

Looks like his business confidence is picking up.

"...He's been going to work in a wheelie bin. He says its quicker, cleaner and less cramped"

'No need to put my details in darlin'... You're the girl for me!'

'It's not my job to argue with you, sir. So, I'm turning you over to Mrs Yomp.'