Retail Reality Buster Pillows

'New, are we?'

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

Black hole setting

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

Pirates at the mall.

'That's part of the reason for our problem. We lost the key to the door.'

Smoke and Mirrors: Harold couldn't work out why his new store wasn't getting any customers.

Woman goes to Origami Airport.

"The boss is mad at me. I did something really, really dumb today!"

'Why pay the airline $7.00 for a beer, when I can get a drone to deliver 6 for the same price?'

'You're not fooling anybody but yourself.'

'It's a rare generic defect. To put it bluntly, you have no brand loyalty.'

'Conglomo Corporation: Proud manufacturer of outrageously useless stuff you apparently can't live without.'

Reading

'No way, man! Murphy isn't worth anywhere near the 3.5 million they're paying him!'

"I made a big mistake getting into ladies underwear..."

"Listen, Baldo, I know what you're thinking...but as part of the management team, I can say with all confidence that your job is safe."

"We need to reduce our overheads."

"BJ is aware of your concerns, but he's waiting until your facts agree with his idea of reality."

Abuse or harassment of staff will not be tolerated

"The imaginary people keep telling me that I'm crazy..."

"I'm doing 9 to 5."

"Don't you DARE argue with me you ***(****) or I'll **** your ****."

"...It's just that I feel I've become typecast."

"When we got married, you said we'd be in the lap of luxury...but here we are, in the butt of bankruptcy!"

Holy Water and Ice Blocks

'As many items as I want or no customer!'

"Hi, Mr. Tepper. This is the I.R.S. Say, back in April, when you paid your tax, we had no idea of the sort of bills Uncle Sam would be running up, and-well, the long and the short of it is that we have to soak you again."

'It's not my job to argue with you, sir. So, I'm turning you over to Mrs Yomp.'

'What's wrong with me today? I actually served a customer...'

The customer is always right, but that fact has no standing in law.

'Went straight to the top a week after 'Customer Care' started.'