Retail Reality Enthusiast Pillows

'Went straight to the top a week after 'Customer Care' started.'

"The boss is mad at me. I did something really, really dumb today!"

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

"How was work?"

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

Stuff: You Don't Really Need But Still Don't Have.

Myths and legends...

'I love shopping for clothing I don't need with money I don't have.'

Sale.

"Shopping! Now that's what I call quality time!"

"I want that dressing-room mirror fired."

Customer Convention

"Sorry it's late. I got caught in Spring migration."

"Great for worship then! Great for retail now!"

Pam learned the importance of browser support.

Woman uses an ATM with buttons for: Grocery, Leverage Buyout, Start Up Capital, Shop Till You Drop.

Where there's a Mall--There's a Way.

"Dear, you are Definitely coming back as a centipede."

SupermarketAwful Market.

'Our giant sale now on!'

'Let me through - I've a bargain for a nose!'

'Oh that's weird! i just had a shiver go down my wallet. My wife must have just bought something.'

After the Nordstrom-Nordstream Merger

"Can you estimate how much money you'll need for your mid-life crisis?"

"How will you be paying? Crypto, Venmo, electronic fund transfer, credit card, check, cash, precious metals, brightly colored shells or livestock?"

"I've been window-shopping..."

'A penny for my thoughts. Now accepting all major credit cards.'

'Remember Jones, the customer is always right, no matter how stupid and ignorant he may be.'

"Sorry, I'm late. I didn't realize how much credit you had on your card."

'When it comes to shopping, not only does the buck stop here, but so do the fives, tens, twenties, fifties and hundreds.'

Complaints clerk to consumer: A hair in your TV dinner? Maybe it belongs to a celebrity!

"It must be near New Year's Day...There are Easter eggs in the shop windows!"

'Look, another Now Available store is opening! Maybe yo could get a job there. They seem to be opening stores all over town!'