Retail Industry Buff Gifts

Complaints department is a mirror.

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

A fight in the Boardroom.

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

"What's a debenture?"

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

Business meeting, CEO is dressed strangely as he asks: 'Any questions?'

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

"Do you promise to love, honour and contribute to the gross national product?"

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

I'm a self-made man!

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

'You're close, Spencer, but usually a business plan is a little more involved!'

"Is it just a scary coincidence that the words 'changes' and 'unknown' both have 7 letters?"

After a day long meeting, the decision, as usual, is made in the hallway.

A Major Refresher Course is in Order.

'It appears the 'What?'s have it.'

Company sales forecast mirrors the weather

'Ted, I really wish you'd update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

'Our problem is how to lower quality while raising prices...'