Retail Associate Gifts

'It's a disgrace! I've only had this for two weeks, and LOOK! The novelty has almost completely worn off!'

'When we said 'One size fits all' we didn't mean all at the same time.'

"No, no, no! It's longer with a bigger blade!"

'I'd like to return this shredder.'

"Does she like to smell strange?"

"I bet we could sell it something demeaning and worthless.'

"Have you got anything in Italic ?"

''Nesco, supermarket' 'Three complaints or less'

'Hi, you look great today! Wow, you've lost weight! Pleeease buy me!!'

'Now, this one gets about a hundred males to the gallon.'

'..Can I interest you in our new fragrance - 'Are''

Larry's used art

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

Handbag store - "Perfect."

Cut Price

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

"Oh to be young and in love and wear things cut on the bias."

"Look! I'm going to be a customer!"

"How was work?"

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

Mister Pretty Shoes

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

How Amazon was invented

"It's black, but it's not New York black."

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

'Rozlyn, that blouse is very cute! I think you should get it.'

'Sorry sir,but we can't just take your word that the boots leak'

Sale.

"I hate it when they put kittens in the impulse buying section."

'Let's send her a text message; 'You're FIRED!''