Resume Rainmaker Gifts

Resume Dumpers

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

Pete Townshend Vineyards

A Good Batch.

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

"#Win!"

Man showing in the rain.

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

"We're hoping for a really smooth wine here."

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

'How do you folks get away with such flagrant violation of Prohibition?'

"Yes, we do accept resumes online, but there's more to it than giving me your computer with your resume on it."

'Note to self: Like coffee, homemade coffee wine should be available in decaf, too.'

"I make it myself!"

'This is the last time we hire former Cirque du Soleil members as stompers.'

'That may be what the wine glossary says, but to me, terroir means a fantatic view.'

'They say you have to drink 4 times as much merlot as pinot noir to get the same level of anti-oxidants. Isn't that just too, too bad?'

"You inhabit the body of someone who has an impressive résumé."

'Alright, throw in your resume and the 'Get A Job' potion will be complete.'

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

'We drove 800 miles for this? If I wanted to look at a roomful of dusty bottles, we could have visited your mother.'

One of the failed candidates for the copyrighters job wants to know 'wat was rong with his applicashun'.

"It's translated from French, so where it says 'Harvard Business School' it may mean 'jail.'"

"But what you call a track record I call ancient history."

'You've spelt 'C.V.' wrongly.'

kangaroos hopping around in a vat of grapes to make wine for Australian wine company.

'I'm working because I've been upgraded. He never upgraded so he's out of work.'

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'

'Who's the new guy?'

'When we bought this place we thought we'd only be making wine. Apparently, we're also into spirits.'

An Excellent Nose for Wine.

"Nice touch." - Resume playing music.

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'