Restroom Sprinter Pillows

I used to swing from chandeliers. Now I move as quickly as possible from restroom to restroom.

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

"This stool shall pass."

'I'm not working on a case, I'm looking for something interesting to read in the john.'

I've got a new theory, Randy, and it's going to shock the world. Why? Because it's pretty much irrefutable. You know how when you're in the bathroom, it feels like five minutes have passed … but to those waiting to use it, it feels like forever? Yes … And you know how when you're at the event horizon of a black hole, five minutes to you actually is forever to the rest of the universe? ... I think we'd better alert Neil Degrasse Tyson. I call it the Time Toilation Theory.

"Do you have any idea who it is you're talking to?"

'Where toilet?.' 'Toilet lady graphic sign.'

"Rudy, if you're playing a video game in there. I'm breaking this door down. Some of us have got to go."

"Athlete? No. Ambulance chaser."

Life's choices (Tampons and Chocolate).

They put their hands under me so I'll blow hot air. They put their hands under me so I'll run water. You don't want to know what they put in front of me so I'll flush.

"Your desk is in here now. After all, it's where you spend most of the working day!"

"I just need a few minutes with the auto-sensor to regain my illusion of control."

Toilet door. Table for one!

"I’ll be back — I just have to pee for 90 minutes."

Gents

Closed for cleaning.

Man wetting himself in a toilet queue.

'Sorry buddy, this one's taken.'

Man uses encyclopaedia to try to decipher trendy signs for toilets in pub: pens and cobs

Men on modernised moon

Restroom.

"Do you mind?"

Express line 15 seconds or less.

Hey, little buddy. How's it going in there? You fall in? Occupied! I know it's occupied, little buddy. We all know. It's been occupied for 30 minutes. There's a long line out here. I said "occupied!" When a person says "occupied" from in here, that's supposed to buy another 10 minutes at least. "Occupied" is not a magic word, little buddy. Inhabited! That neither. We're all still here.

Ace dot-to-dot publishing co.

"Joey...I need you spending more time helping customers."

Yin Yang bathrooms.

Toilet 'Thinking Area.'

Talk about performance anxiety.

Parade of Boats 2:30

'Please direct me to a restroom NOW.'

Chinese dragon in the men's room

Rudy, if you're playing a video game in there, I'm breaking this door down. Some of us have got to go. Of course I'm not. What's that beeping? I hear beeping in there. You're mistaken. What you probably heard is a big truck backing up a few blocks away. I've backed up. I've put on my motorcycle helmet. I'm getting a running start. But I'm almost at the next level! ... I mean I'm almost done.

"Did someone just have verbal diarrhoea?"