Restroom Riddle Solver Gifts

Ace dot-to-dot publishing co.

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

'I'll give you a clue. The answer is a number, not a fruit.'

"This stool shall pass."

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

Oedipus

"Dear Diary: Today I picked a peck of pickled peppers."

'I'm not working on a case, I'm looking for something interesting to read in the john.'

I've got a new theory, Randy, and it's going to shock the world. Why? Because it's pretty much irrefutable. You know how when you're in the bathroom, it feels like five minutes have passed … but to those waiting to use it, it feels like forever? Yes … And you know how when you're at the event horizon of a black hole, five minutes to you actually is forever to the rest of the universe? ... I think we'd better alert Neil Degrasse Tyson. I call it the Time Toilation Theory.

Cryptologists Anonymous

"It's all hypothetical, of course, but how much wood do you think you could chuck?"

"Maybe the alignment's off. It's been acting a little buggy."

'What goes ho, ho, ho, plop?'

"Rudy, if you're playing a video game in there. I'm breaking this door down. Some of us have got to go."

'Where toilet?.' 'Toilet lady graphic sign.'

"Do you have any idea who it is you're talking to?"

"I give up. What's black and white and red all over?"

'Okay, I give up. What is black,has two wings and fourteen legs?'

'Soon I will have proved it ONCE AND FOR ALL!'

Mega Corp. Last Rest Stop for 37 Doors.

Wordplay: Fertilizer.

(No caption. Astronaut on the the moon looks at an outhouse with a picture of the Earth where the crescent moon would be.)

Life's choices (Tampons and Chocolate).

I used to swing from chandeliers. Now I move as quickly as possible from restroom to restroom.

"Your desk is in here now. After all, it's where you spend most of the working day!"

What's grey, has four legs and a trunk?

They put their hands under me so I'll blow hot air. They put their hands under me so I'll run water. You don't want to know what they put in front of me so I'll flush.

A chicken and an egg racing to take a number to see which one of them will come first.

Troll bridge ahead: please have exact answer to riddle ready.

'What has a bottom at the top?'

"What has one horn and gives milk?"

Sam's Gourmet Diner. I'll have chicken and he'll have eggs -- we want to see which one comes first.

"I’ll be back — I just have to pee for 90 minutes."