Restroom Anecdote Collector Gifts

'Motion Only Short of a 6.0 Earthquake is Necessary to Get a Paper Towel.'

'How am I going to get all this back in the tube?'

'I'm not working on a case, I'm looking for something interesting to read in the john.'

"Do you have any idea who it is you're talking to?"

A couple with dog look at restroom signs of a man, a woman, and a fire hydrant.

'...I got my hands dirty washing my face!'

'Oh for crying out loud, so there's a spider in the bathtub!!'

"In my day men waited till they did some damage to their kidneys before they relieved themselves."

Restroom in the stadium has goal toilet fresheners.

Pat's husband didn't understand the concept of putting the seat down.

"Ah, I'd give it a few minutes, pal. Maybe light a match."

Toilets of Tuscany Tour

Man wetting himself in a toilet queue.

'I told you not to lean on the door Ronald!'

Hell's Restrooms.

"You left the toilet seat up again!"

'You want to borrow a tampon?!'

'Take me to your men's room!'

'I used four tubes of ultra-super-glue on the seat. Now let's see you leave it up.'

Sign on mensroom door: 'No writing instruments allowed'

Man with typewriter on toilet.

A Sign Your Job Search is Getting Desparate.

'How do I feel? Right now I feel relieved!'

"My mistress doesn't care if I drink out of the toilet as long as I put the toilet seat up."

Don't move, it's okay - I can see my reflection in your hair

"So THAT is why you don't sit and flush!"

Again I'm sorry, Judith, but there's somethin' wrong with that boy, He hasn't had a drink in weeks, Yet here I am, about to stop for the 4th time so he can use the restroom,

Talk about performance anxiety.

Hand washer.

Rudy, if you're playing a video game in there, I'm breaking this door down. Some of us have got to go. Of course I'm not. What's that beeping? I hear beeping in there. You're mistaken. What you probably heard is a big truck backing up a few blocks away. I've backed up. I've put on my motorcycle helmet. I'm getting a running start. But I'm almost at the next level! ... I mean I'm almost done.

"I hate the feeling of a cold toilet seat."

"Now that's impressive."

A hand from a Port-a-John desperately reaching for a roll of toilet paper has it rolls away

"Harris might be in there awhile. . . I saw him take a four-pack of toilet paper in there with him!"

"Any other questions?"