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Gents

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

"Larry, nooo! Don't look into the BOWL!!!"

'That's her second pitcher and she doesn't even like beer - I guess she just likes to pee.'

'I can't find a dry martini anywhere.'

Bottle-nosed Dolphins.

I read on Candorville.com that was rank 29,705th in the world when it comes to attention spans. What? Aren't there only 196 countries? The article didn't just include human countries. It included the various animal kingdoms and the plant republics. Did you know that Americans have an eight-second attention span ... but the goldfish who live in little Lionel Brown's aquarium kingdom at 1492 MLK Way in Candorville have a nine-second attention span? Are you sure you weren't reading a humor column?

The Tragedy of Prosperity

'I'm not working on a case, I'm looking for something interesting to read in the john.'

Fish tank filled with sardines.

"This place could use a moat!"

Drinking Companions

A house cat fishes in a goldfish bowl

FISH ESCAPE.

"Do you realize what the sodium content of this water is?"

"I don't think you fully thought out your escape plan!" "Meow..."

Fish in Water Cooler.

"Looks like Billy clogged up the toilet again."

Fish swimming around inside drip.

Penguins at a zoo stare at a floating penguin-shaped helium balloon held by a child.

Polly want a cracker? Polly want a cracker? Polly want a cracker? Polly want a cracker? Polly want a cracker? Polly want a

'Please, just call me Mario. We like to keep things informal around here.'

"You are literally my entire world."

'The marriage counselor didn't save our marriage. The plumber and the second bathroom saved our marriage.'

'Simon, not now, we haven't even gone on our fishing trip yet!'

"Do you have any idea who it is you're talking to?"

Junior's Towel

Hope and pray it's nothing more than a 'Spectator Sport'!'

A bath at Boulogne. - Appalling position of Mr and Mrs Tomkins, who had a jib horse when the tide was coming in.

'Where toilet?.' 'Toilet lady graphic sign.'

"Dear Diary: So I texted Julie..."

'Ok, you have the bowl and I'll take the water!'

'He's okay with the fish but it appears he had his heart set on a puppy.'

'Let's play some cards, boys. Oh, and by the way, the wife said if we figure out how to light these cigars we can smoke in the bowl.'