Restoration Aficionado T-Shirts

"The keep saying unrestored and what a nice PATINA, Ted. A better-sounding word for old tarnished stuff would be SCRINCH or SKRITCH, don't you think, eh, Ted?"

The DaVinci Code

Second hand furniture.

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

The Kitchen area of a Whitechapel Boarding House

'Plimbco Bank &Trust, Old Money Division.'

'Man...You age great!'

Dynasties - Ping, Ching, Ming.

You had me at vintage.

“It's $195 million. Now, I know what you're thinking: 'OK, what's the catch?'”

Antiques

A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

The Epsom Derby - The Finishing Line

Leonardo Da Vinci paints a selfie

Victorian Fast Food - 'I'll have the lark pie festooned with eels, a full stilton, two bottles of port,,,'

'This is a letter opener, from the days before faxes and email. I just sold it online after I listed it as a vintage communication device.'

"Mommy, look! Tablets from olden days!"

'Mona Lisa, would it make you happy if I gave you a foot massage every night?'

'This book is so rare it's never been published.'

'Gerald was stripping some old wallpaper, and there it was - Leonard Da Vinci's lost fresco ‘The Battle of Anghiari'.'

Pyramid (Drawn from memory) (Pretty accurate)

"Have you tried turning it on and off again..?"

He's the first Master Sculptor since the Renaissance also trained as a Mohel.

'Have you any idea just how little this is worth?'

'Now there's a real pro! He can even nail while power napping.'

'Who are you kidding? This is a wind-up isn't it!'

Cartoon showing a group snails, one has a large shell underneath him. Another snail, observing, says to his mate: "Another basement conversion.".

Old West Bounty Hunter.

"Once, I tried to change the laces, and the Landmarks Commission came down on me like a ton of bricks."

Punk rocker passing punk codger in street.

"Hold it, Lucy! Here I am!"

'Could you tone down the smile just a little?'