Restoration Aficionado T-Shirts

"He's a hunter-gatherer-tinkerer-fixer-upper-restorer-reseller."

"The keep saying unrestored and what a nice PATINA, Ted. A better-sounding word for old tarnished stuff would be SCRINCH or SKRITCH, don't you think, eh, Ted?"

The DaVinci Code

Second hand furniture.

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

The Kitchen area of a Whitechapel Boarding House

'Plimbco Bank &Trust, Old Money Division.'

"I'd like a new tire for my 1976 Chevy Chevette."

You had me at vintage.

“It's $195 million. Now, I know what you're thinking: 'OK, what's the catch?'”

'Man...You age great!'

Dynasties - Ping, Ching, Ming.

Antiques

A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

The Epsom Derby - The Finishing Line

Leonardo Da Vinci paints a selfie

'This is a letter opener, from the days before faxes and email. I just sold it online after I listed it as a vintage communication device.'

Victorian Fast Food - 'I'll have the lark pie festooned with eels, a full stilton, two bottles of port,,,'

"Mommy, look! Tablets from olden days!"

'Mona Lisa, would it make you happy if I gave you a foot massage every night?'

Pyramid (Drawn from memory) (Pretty accurate)

'This book is so rare it's never been published.'

'Gerald was stripping some old wallpaper, and there it was - Leonard Da Vinci's lost fresco ‘The Battle of Anghiari'.'

'Stove Top Stuffing! My favourite!'

He's the first Master Sculptor since the Renaissance also trained as a Mohel.

"Have you tried turning it on and off again..?"

Old West Bounty Hunter.

Cartoon showing a group snails, one has a large shell underneath him. Another snail, observing, says to his mate: "Another basement conversion.".

'Have you any idea just how little this is worth?'

'Who are you kidding? This is a wind-up isn't it!'

'Now there's a real pro! He can even nail while power napping.'

"Once, I tried to change the laces, and the Landmarks Commission came down on me like a ton of bricks."

Punk rocker passing punk codger in street.

'Could you tone down the smile just a little?'