Restless Partner Gifts

"You can't sleep? Have you tried meditating, then reading for an hour, then going to the couch...."

Mixed Doubles.

Holding hands

'I'm telling you Fred, this can of silver paint is going to improve your love-life!...'

'All I want for Valentine's Day is a Greek fisherman's cap.'

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

Advanced footsie

"I'm so glad we enjoy the same style foreplay."

"I brought you a wig because you said you like long hair."

"Wifey! Wifey! I've found the fountain of youth!"

"Isn't us talking about how I would never take a ballroom dancing class an activity we're doing together?"

'Toast'

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

"Milk does a body good but champagne does it better!"

Frank, this is carrying safe sex too far.

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.

'I told you that 2 month old balonie was cursed!'

"What is it about a tee shirt cannon that says 'foreplay' to you?"

"I know you're a cat person, but do you have to knock things off the table when we're out?"

You are simply the Greatest

'The answer is still no. I may look like a pushover, but I'm not.'

'So this is what you do while I'm away,'

"I know this is going to sound completely crazy and off the wall - but do you, by any chance, know how to iron?"

"I just knew there had to be a better use for tomatoes than making boring old sandwiches."

"It's chirp, chirp, chirp time again, isn't it?"

"Wanna get pigeon holed?"

I love ewe.

"Wanna play?"

Luring the babes is a cinch when you've got the right feet for the job.

"You complete me."

"My husband finally taught him to use the toilet but can't convince him to give up kitty litter."

"My husband's a big eater. Do you have any edible bathrobes?"

'Do you promise to love, honor, and kiss the bed covers goodbye?'