Stubborn Spouse Gifts

'I've warned my husband he shouldn't jog 5 miles a day, but nobody can tell him anything!'

"Careful with that - the wife made it at pottery class."

A Golden Non-Retriever

Behind Every Stupid Man

Don't Take No For an Answer

'His wife is very supportive.'

Scared husband needs to have scans done in children's exam room.

'Swear on your unpublished novels that you will support each other's ridiculous dreams.'

"I just knew there had to be a better use for tomatoes than making boring old sandwiches."

"Despite my best efforts, you're still the man and I'm still the woman."

"Every time I think we've sorted our marriage problems out, he comes home again!"

'What seems to be the problem?'

'This is going to be good. He's sitting on an ant hill.'

'In our thirty years of marriage she's squirreled away loads of money, but she can't remember where.'

That Pesky 'Why' Chromosome.

"Give me a sporting chance, love ... pass me my wicket-keeping gloves."

'Is there a lemon law for husbands?'

"You're obviously under consideration for something."

"Well, I thought installing a kitchen faucet without having to call the plumber was a pretty good 'praise'."

Oh, for Pete's sake take some this medicine. You're useless, but at least it will make your COUGH more productive!

'Sorry, dear, but upon advice from my attorney, I decline to give you an opinion on your Creamed Tarragon Flounder.'

"So is that enough 'putting out' for you?"

'I don't suppose it occured to you to simply agree to disagree?'

'Those are the family I'd have if I believed in a Work/Life balance.'

"So how was the Edgar Willoughby Classic?"

Well, I'm not leaving.

'Woo-hoo!This is the happiest day of my life!!'

"I'm feeling a little ephemeral today."

"Heirloom or not, I've got to unhang it because my wife became a vegetarian."

"If that's my matching sock, I'm not here."

'You just had to throw the manual out didn't you? Big man can figure everything out for himself...'

Sign your marriage is in trouble.

'Look dear, why don't you just lob the ball over until you get the hang of the game?'

"My husband couldn't make it today, but I took notes on the sermon for him."

Missing Persons@ 'I don't want him back...I just want to know what he's been up to!'