Curious Spouse Gifts

Missing Persons@ 'I don't want him back...I just want to know what he's been up to!'

"If oceans are absorbing more carbon dioxide, why isn't this water fizzy?"

"Careful with that - the wife made it at pottery class."

"I like to sit facing the room to see if anyone seated after us gets served before us."

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

'It's nice to go hiking together. It gives us a chance to compare notes and figure out what the kids are plotting!'

'Your test results are in - and here's a first, the Lab Techs have asked to meet you.'

'It's only temporary until we can find a good home for the cats.'

'Beer? Wassat then?'

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

'I've been offered early retirement but my wife won't let me take it.'

'In our thirty years of marriage she's squirreled away loads of money, but she can't remember where.'

Lesser Known Historical Figures: The Steno at the First Thanksgiving Dinner.

Roach Motel

'Today the market corrected itself AND Leonard.'

"You're obviously under consideration for something."

"So is that enough 'putting out' for you?"

Cathy was becoming increasingly buy-curious.

"Wake up Jeff. You're snoring again!"

"All I'm saying is that family values are really important to all of us. For example...I didn't sleep with my wife before we were married. You?"

'It's bad enough losing to a takeover bid, but when it's your wife who takes over....'

Privacy in the garden.

'I don't have a dog or a cat. Why do you ask?'

"So tell me doc, what's new and exciting in pharmacology these days?".

Some patients may want to know more than others.

The last argument - Did not/Did too.

"When you have a minute love, my 'new man' t-shirt needs ironing."

"I never had time to raise a family. Mind if I watch?"

He likes to pretend to look at the stars when he was really looking in the neighbors' window.

"Oh look, my cat followed me to work."

"My complaint is RARE? - y'mean none of my friends have it?"

'It's disgraceful the way they build houses so close together!'

Keeping Up With The DoorDashians