Restaurant Whisperer T-Shirts

"Hi again. Can I just check whether you enjoyed me interrupting your meal five minutes ago to ask whether you were enjoying your meal?"

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

His New Grillfriend

"We're hoping for a really smooth wine here."

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

'Well, I'm not very satisfied with our customers, either.'

Rising Gas Prices

"Dear Diary: Today I ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped ... HAIRBALL!!"

"I'm getting cinnamon, brandy, nutmeg, a hint of Alsatian."

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

"Can you recommend a nice red wine that goes well with a broken heart?"

Wine Talking

"It feels like me against the world but it's actually just the state of Connecticut."

'Could I just get one that's wine flavored?'

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

The Complete Cycle.

'Can you recommend something that will make my date sound interesting.'

Welcome Home from the Dog.

'So, what do you think of my first attempt at making homemade wine?'

Architects and Engineers - Restoration of old Buildings.

"He works well with everyone except customers and co-workers."

"I'm afraid your allowance didn't survive the latest round of budget cuts."

"The toaster is sueing the sandwich maker over custody of the bread..."

"I was really impressed by the way you sent back the wine, though it did come in second to the waiter's uppercut."

"She got the house, six thousand a month and custody of our people."

'She barely gives the Chateau Haut Brion a chance to breath.'

"Wine is plant-based food."

'Then again - no pain, no gain.'

"It's important to see 'beyond the obvious' when you look at a customer. . ."

'The house wine is made of straw.'