Restaurant Scene Admirer Gifts

Waiter' You betta stop that food fight, you SILLY fools! Here comes the Maitre D' !'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

"War is hell and so is this soup."

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

"How fresh is the calamari?"

Your lobster was off!

"The soup of the day is pineapple with a hint of rum."

'It's my favorite.'

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

Advanced footsie

"I like to sit facing the room to see if anyone seated after us gets served before us."

'Strong curry for two and a fire-extinguisher.'

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"Your meal sounded nice."

"I can't even remember what we were fighting about."

"We'll start with the appetizer, move on to the entree, and then finish up with dessert."

"What kind of biscuits are they?"

"All dishes marked with an asterisk are served with sarcasm. . ."

"I think we'll pass up the Château Mouton-Rothschild '34."

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

'I really don't know why we bother coming here - the food's always crap.'

'The braised toucan was fine...although I found the bill a little large.'