Restaurant Rusher Pillows

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

'A cheeky red?'

'You complimented the chef on his dumplings -now he wishes to return the compliments!'

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

Famous Last Words: "Whew! Well, at least the worst is behind us."

'I think I'll go home and eat'

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

"That table is yours once that party decides to move to the suburbs."

"The lobster dinner is thirty eight dollars, or for ten dollars extra you can have him returned to the sea."

I love Cannelloni

"Honey, have you seen my onions?"

'I was hoping for a better bonus this year.'

'How is the water prepared?'

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

"So, you want me to go all the way back to the kitchen just to get you a menu...? Couldn't I just give you a link to our, online menu?!"

"Shall I let them breathe."

"You know why they make these straws so big? It's a scam to make you drink fast so you can finish quicker and order more."

'Shortly you will be running for your life. I wouldn't order dessert.'

"Bottled, tap or toilet water?"

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

'In case of fire, don't panic, pay your bill then run like hell.'

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

"This controls the speed, this opens the door and if you press the red button a maintenance man appears and gives you a very large bill"

'Your pizza will be out in a few minutes. Tony's looking for a ladder to get it off the ceiling.'

"Why don't I clang some utensils, make 3 grilled cheese sandwiches and we call it an early night?"

"One spaghetti, and two straws please."