Restaurant Rover Pillows

"The food must be good here. Look at the drool on the menus."

Eavesdrop date

"No, thank you. I'd prefer seeing a menu from the restaurant across the street."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

'A cheeky red?'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

"The fish sticks here are very good."

'You complimented the chef on his dumplings -now he wishes to return the compliments!'

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"Are your eel rolls electric?"

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

La Table

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

Halfway across the Hudson River Billy Joe realized he wasn't going to Elvis Island.

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."