Restaurant Reviewer Pillows

'This fortune cookie says, 'You will have good luck investing in emerging markets, fortune cookie & Chopstick Trading Company of Singapore.''

'I don't know Arthur, I've heard the service is terrible here.'

The best little steak house in the city / The best little hot dog cart in the city.

'Who gets the soup with the fly in it?'

"O.K., I'm ready. You can let it go."

"The food was o.k., but the atmosphere was terrible."

'Ah-HAH!'

Menu

"Which of tonight's specials is the most sanctimonious?"

'If you want fiber, Madame, I suggest you eat the menu.'

"What do you suggest...the tuna fish or the peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich?"

"I think the waiter wants a tip dear."

Greay spoon - Eat now, pay later!

'When I said you should complain about your steak I didn't mean whining about it on twitter.'

'Did monsieur enjoy the meal?' - 'I could get more nourishment biting my lip.'

"Your chicken in red wine, sir."

"I got the idea from them fancy restaurants that cook your food at the table...."

'We don't have any specials today. However, all entrees featuring ingredients known to cause cancer in laboratory animals are half price.

"Sorry for the delay - I had to finish de-boning your meatloaf."

International House of Excrement

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

"Here comes the tossed salad!"

'Brie ok, Sir?'

"While you were deciding, we raised our prices."

Misfortune cookie.

Chef and restaurant patrons waiting outside clinic.

'I appreciate your enthusiasm in serving me but I never tip more than 15 percent.'

"Just bring us something dead."

'This Beef Wellington is as tough as old boots.'

'Not really the kind of cafe culture we were hoping to find.'

"I detect notes of black cherry with a definite undercurrent of poorly washed dishes."

"True, the fly is not in my soup. But it took one taste of my soup and dropped dead."

A waiter warning the cook about certain customers

Man having dinner in a restaurant

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."