Restaurant Returnee Pillows

Ditching Masks as Lockdown Eases

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"Stephen and I are today's special."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

'A cheeky red?'

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

La Table

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

"Vindaloo hot enough?"

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

"And I'll have that lightly sedated, please."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

I love Cannelloni

Advanced footsie

"You've ordered comfort food. May I recommend a comfort wine?"

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

'In case of fire, don't panic, pay your bill then run like hell.'

"So, you want me to go all the way back to the kitchen just to get you a menu...? Couldn't I just give you a link to our, online menu?!"

Restaurant. One thing you can still get for a single dollar is the waiter's opinion of you.

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

"You know why they make these straws so big? It's a scam to make you drink fast so you can finish quicker and order more."

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

"I can't even remember what we were fighting about."

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

"Shall I let them breathe."