Restaurant Antics Gifts

'I'll have what he's having.'

Chef copy robot

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

'Would you care for a drink while your food is being defrosted?'

Food inspection results

A short-order cook gets sucked into the exhaust vent over the grill.

'Are you sure the recipe calls for a whole cup of good burgundy?'

"My name's Aldred and I'll be your server this evening."

"Sous vide hot dog round, dehydrated generic bun dust, sweet relish foam, ketchup tuile."

'If it has a 'G' next to it, it'll give you a little gas; a 'B' will cause some belching; 'N' may create a bit of nausea...'

Dog reaching over top of counter to steal cookies.

"We've had to update our restaurant's motto."

"Sorry, it’s my first day."

'Grate two hundred grammes of cheddar cheese...' - 'Uh-oh.' - 'Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no...' - 'Cheese gives me nightmares.' - 'Argh!!! No!!! Make it stop!! I can't take the pain!! No!! Arghhhh!!!'

"This is cold. I specifically ordered the Warm and Fuzzy."

Two ducks in restaurant, one without a beak, "Can I get my bill, please?"

"Don't get your hopes up, honey. I call everybody 'honey.'"

'I know I'm getting lots of complements, but the damn waiters are conspiring to not tell me!'

'That's eleven..!!' ( 10 items or less counter ).

"You can have my doggie bag as a tip."

'Take no notice, I fired him ten minutes ago.'

'Keep complaining about my meals and you can fry your own salad!'

"I don't think the new guy is working out."

"Good evening, folks. My name is Leonard, and I hold all the cards."

"Dropping a spoon means a beautiful woman will visit soon."

At The Skinny Customer Restaurant

'Can't you read?'

'No termites, no grubs, no leaves... What kind of crazy restaurant is this?'

Fish Waiter at the Fish 'n Chips Restaurant.

I know it says 'All you can eat', but that only applies to what's on the menu!

"Oh, yes, sir, the zebra is fresh."