Restaurant Antics T-Shirts

'I'll have what he's having.'

Chef copy robot

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

'Would you care for a drink while your food is being defrosted?'

Food inspection results

A short-order cook gets sucked into the exhaust vent over the grill.

'Are you sure the recipe calls for a whole cup of good burgundy?'

"My name's Aldred and I'll be your server this evening."

"Sous vide hot dog round, dehydrated generic bun dust, sweet relish foam, ketchup tuile."

'If it has a 'G' next to it, it'll give you a little gas; a 'B' will cause some belching; 'N' may create a bit of nausea...'

Dog reaching over top of counter to steal cookies.

Good news! We determined the hair in your vegan soup is from the chef's fake fur coat!

Two ducks in restaurant, one without a beak, "Can I get my bill, please?"

This fly's backstroke is atrocious. It will be reflected in his tip.

Armstrong, we're out of napkins. Now we're not. Have you checked where we keep the spares? What spares? The ones in the round pantry. Are you referring to the trash can? You say "tomatoes," I say "organic multivitamins for sale."

"Sorry, it’s my first day."

'Grate two hundred grammes of cheddar cheese...' - 'Uh-oh.' - 'Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no...' - 'Cheese gives me nightmares.' - 'Argh!!! No!!! Make it stop!! I can't take the pain!! No!! Arghhhh!!!'

"This is cold. I specifically ordered the Warm and Fuzzy."

"We've had to update our restaurant's motto."

"Don't get your hopes up, honey. I call everybody 'honey.'"

'I know I'm getting lots of complements, but the damn waiters are conspiring to not tell me!'

"Good evening, folks. My name is Leonard, and I hold all the cards."

'Take no notice, I fired him ten minutes ago.'

"You can have my doggie bag as a tip."

"I don't think the new guy is working out."

'Keep complaining about my meals and you can fry your own salad!'

"Dropping a spoon means a beautiful woman will visit soon."

At The Skinny Customer Restaurant

'That's eleven..!!' ( 10 items or less counter ).

'Can't you read?'

I don't mind a fly's backstroke. I do mind a fly's back talk.

Fish Waiter at the Fish 'n Chips Restaurant.

'I think I've got one, Doris!'

"Oh, yes, sir, the zebra is fresh."