Rest Stop Connoisseur T-Shirts

"Faux wood grain towel dispensers, matching toilet plunbers, herb scented urinal cakes, where's it all end, Stan?"

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

"There goes our early night."

'If your name's not on the Liszt, you're not coming in.'

"What the heck did I do with that leftover turkey?!"

'Openly sobbing, or non-openly sobbing?'

"That will be the gold standard by which all other naps are judged."

Pre-Winter Ennui-'Hon, did you have the furnace checked?'

Bats with blankets.

Man frozen in portrait pose.

"Don't make me send over the bad waitress."

"Just think how much we could save if we switched the heating off altogether."

Moliere

Bleak House

Charles Dickens.

Cut out and keep your own Room Service.

'The fire seems to be drawing well.'

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

'It has a zip-out lining in case of a mild winter.'

"Yes, you could have cooked it, but you didn't."

'I know, I left the electric blanket on too long.'

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."

Hi, my name's Pam and I'll be your paramedic for the evening.

'I'm taking the leftovers home, so suggest something my dog will enjoy.'

"I've always been a gnome body."

The 'I'm Almost Finished With War And Peace' Bookmark

"Remember when all we had was lots of little pillows?"

Sock Without Partners Sock Hop

Sergei Rachmaninov

When feud becomes best seller! Moby Dick vs Herman Melville!

'Remind me - have you slipped into something more comfortable, or out of something more comfortable?'

"I'll start with a tall glass of O positive."