Responsible Ownership Gifts

"There he goes again! What on earth does he do with it all?!"

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

Fast food. Even faster food

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

Today's special... donuts.

Mac's Bait and Sushi Shop

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"Something romantic, perhaps?"

Try to guess the continent dining...

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

Bar snacks served in bird-feeders.

"I understand this diner has quite a reputation."

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

"Five hamburgers with buns, three hamburgers without buns and two buns, without hamburgers."

Kitchen Kapers

No littering...

"This is our soft opening."

Hashimoto's Restaurant - Sushi Like Mother Used to Make!

Desert $2.75. See? -- It wasn't a typo.

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

"The food isn't bad, but I don't care much for the floor show!"

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

"The lobster dinner is thirty eight dollars, or for ten dollars extra you can have him returned to the sea."

Would you be willing to sign something regarding the fat content of your burger? Like what? My colon.

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"