Responsibility Ponderer Pillows

'Middle managers play tennis.'

"But can't I be feared and loved?"

'...And then, I guess our relationship got TOO meaningful.'

"Look - I'm cold, you're cold. Why don't we settle down and start a family?"

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

The Price of Freedom

'He said he wasn't good enough for me, so I married him because he's the first man to realize that.'

The Female Brain and The Other One

"Lord, thank you for guiding me through the whole 'evolution by natural selection' thing."

"This may be Malcolm Gladwell talking, but we were married on the wrong day!"

"Isn't it true that the prosecution offered you a bone to testify?"

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

'Our top theologians have studied the issue, Your Majesty, and they agree that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.'

"A cluck cluck here and a cluck cluck there,...is that all I meant to you?"

'Daddy! There's a Politician in my closet!'

'As we all know, the appearance of honesty is the best policy....'

"How long has he been missing?"

"Being a celebrated artist, I do sometimes wonder why you never celebrate me."

"If you were the only man in the world, and I were the only woman. . . would we still have to diet?"

"I love it, the chief loves it, the client loves it, but the gods don't love it."

Meaningful...Meaningless relationships.

'Turn your thinking cap around, Robert.'

"Oh Adam. This is the second...sorry, I mean third happiest day of my life."

Realizing that his youth was now behind him, Mr. Twigly left home at the sight of his first gray hare.

"Gotta cut back on my binge thinking."

Surgical Self-Service

"Have you seen my wife?"

"Well, we can eat out, order in, or just sit here and let our bodies slowly gnaw away at our muscle tissue."

"What advantage do I have? What do I do better than others? What do people see as strengths?"

"I'm giving love one more try."

"What's your question for 'Ask Sadie'?" "My mom's in a nursing home. I think someone's stealing her jewelry." "What's the matter, you're afraid someone is stealing your inheritance?" "Simple solution: Send your mother to Japan, where their entire culture reveres the elderly." "Sayonara, grandma!!!" "Are you sure that's not just a stereotype?" "Who cares?!"