Personal Responsibility Ponderer Pillows

'I didn't hire a lawyer, but I found a neuroscientist who can explain why it wasn't my fault.'

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

"Needs to get a life"

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

'The organizational structure is pretty simple: We do the work; they take the credit.'

The Price of Freedom

'At least I don't have his life.'

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

"If anything else, it beats bending over!"

"Isn't it true that the prosecution offered you a bone to testify?"

'What do lawyers really want, Mr. Montague?'

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

Max Weber

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

Telling Self to Buzz Off

'Daddy! There's a Politician in my closet!'

Psychiatry ward with 'Inhibited' and 'Outgoing' trays.

'As we all know, the appearance of honesty is the best policy....'

"I don't know why I'm here - I don't need a haircut."

'Well, that brings us up to my third birthday...'

'Turn your thinking cap around, Robert.'

"I love it, the chief loves it, the client loves it, but the gods don't love it."

'It wasn't easy, but I got you a jury of your peers — six hairdressers, five interior decorators, and a professor of 18th Century poetry.'

Corruption trial in the Vatican

That's no big deal, a lot of people get Siskel and Ebert mixed up

Surgical Self-Service

Caption Contest TK

"I'll bet a lot of people wish they had a royal palace to return to."

30% Heredity, 70% Environment