Responsibility Denier Gifts

Beware... the Piñata of Adulthood

'No, but thanks for asking,'

"Do you have a minute, Bob? I'd like to speak with you about the concept of 'leadership'."

'So, now we have ascertained who is responsible...'

"What I really wanted was a dog, but my landlord won't allow it. So I got married instead."

'Or you can rent by the week...'

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

'As my subordinate, naturally I expect you to take the heat on things that otherwise would make me uncomfortable.'

"If we're a team, the manager should take the heat!"

'We're an international company, Mr. Zickenbarth. We've got creditors in more than 200 different countries!'

The Birth of a Lawsuit

"Instead of making a long-term commitment to marriage, I've decided to lease a man."

'Your wife called to remind you that you're married, sir.'

He calls it 'delegating authority' I call it 'passing the buck'

'We're looking for someone who's very responsible. In fact, we're looking for someone who's always responsible.'

"Trust me, you don't want this job."

'You have only yourself to blame for blaming yourself.'

'The Doctor says you can be discharged - so I've brought you a list of jobs you can do when you get home!'

Man playing with echos: 'Hellooooo...How are you....I love you...' 'I'm not ready for that kind of committment!'

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

'This new role will involve some extra responsibilities...of course you'll appreciate that there won't be any extra funding...it's a role for which you are uniquely qualified!'

Realizing that his youth was now behind him, Mr. Twigly left home at the sight of his first gray hare.

Business cartoon showing a business man headed toward 'blame'.

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."

"And you're telling me this because?"

'I don't know, Randy - Marriage is so INTRUSIVE.'

Dating Death

'My philosophy is to sit down and the hell with being counted.'

'Middle managers play tennis.'

"Alert security, the buck has failed to stop here and is loose in the building."

'And do you Emily, take George as your lawful partner until death, or the cute guy in accounts, do you part!'

'I don't like to waste time. How long on average does it take a recruit to make general?'

'Are you sure you want to save your marriage?'

"Year, pets do teach kids about responsibility. When they won't get off their butts, they know I'll be responsible."

"Or you could just give me half your stuff now and save us all the trouble."