Respect Pillows

"Everything I know about being human I learned from animals."

"All rise."

'You may not share my beliefs, but you should respect them!' 'What shall I do? He believes he's God's gift to women.'

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"Young Frankenstein"

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

Playing Fetch.

In the Guru District

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

A Good Batch.

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

"Pick me!"

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"Why do they do that?"

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

"He was overly socialized as a puppy."

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"