Advocate For Respect Pillows

"You have to learn to relax, even though I'm creeping you out."

'Don't you DARE!'

"Don't get fresh Buster."

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

"Great job of acting! You really appeared excited about Aunt May's 'famous' green bean casserole."

'The sole reason I haven't talked to my wife for five years, is that I was too polite to interrupt her...'

"As a rookie, I'm finding one of the hardest things to get used to is older people calling me 'sir.'"

'I didn't get the promotion. The interviews took place in the men's room.'

"Discussion topic: Is our society becoming less civil and more violent?"

End of Affirmative Action

"Turn off cell phones violators will be over ruled."

Cartoonist Stabbed By Censorship Swords

"Well, it all depends. Where are these huddled masses coming from?"

Poor vs Rich

'It's a silent protest.'

Political Extremists Discover Environmental Protection!

"The labels are right, it's the panels which are wrong."

'Okay. Tiger took care of golf. Serena did her part at Wimbeldon. That brings us to the final frontier... hockey.'

"I suggest you take an Empathy pill every day."

"Everything I know about being human I learned from animals."

'I'm an equal opportunities employer, Mr Moore, but I would expect you to shave before an interview.'

National #@*&%!$@? Tourettes Institute *&%!$

"What's your policy on being horrible to foreigners?"

New Labour Socialist Exclusion Unit.

'The Polite Lions' - a new sim game - "We've already got chairs, thank you."

"Do you have any idea what it's like to be underappreciated by your boss?"

"I'm afraid we've had to cut back on maternity leave but we can delegate someone to 'Oooh' and 'Aaah' when the baby's born!"

"They learn how to say 'Gracias' and we're supposed to be thankful."

Same-sex marriage passes, and the people go wildQ

'Yes, Ms Worthy, I know pointing is rude, but it's important that we identify your attacker to the court.'

Democracy dies in darkness

Autocensorship in Turkey

New Voter Suppression Laws: 50thh Anniversary of March on Washington.

Cull people who talk and text during a concert you've paid good money to see.

"So what if your brother called you a 'lesbo? There is nothing wrong with being a lesbian... ...No, I'm not saying you are a lesbian... ...Don't threaten to beat me up!... See? This is why people think you are a lesbian!"