Advocate For Tolerance Pillows

"Hat crimes"

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

Prejudice/Empathy

'You may be the best man for the job, but I have a dozen women who are better qualified.'

Redacted Funnies: "Finally, the President blurted out what the country knew all along. . . . . . "

'It's a silent protest.'

VOTE, 'I'll never lie to you, and this time I mean it!'

"I suggest you take an Empathy pill every day."

"We used to do business more transparently, but it was too disturbing."

"Perfect! Since our company's motto is 'transparency,' make the contract's fine print light gray against white."

"Why would I care if you're not a pure breed? That's a human concern! Sure, I'll go out with you tonight..."

"Everything I know about being human I learned from animals."

'Nothing like fear tactics to deter future leakers!'

National #@*&%!$@? Tourettes Institute *&%!$

'Right lad, now it's my turn for free expression . . . (I wish!)'

Report

Closing Laugh Ministry of Info

"Bugger, some whistleblower has blabbed about how much we spent to stop whistleblowers blabbing about..."

Teach Love

"Full disclosure. . . we're not disclosing anything."

Weapens of Mass Redaction

"You have to learn to relax, even though I'm creeping you out."

Will work for recognition.

"I'm sorry...to work at Abbercrummy & Fetch, you must have an 'All-American' look."

"You may quote me on this - Freedom of Speech is this country's most valuable asset, which is why we must use it sparingly."

Panic broke out in the White House when it got so smoky they couldn't see the mirrors.

Desmond Tutu.

'The level of my tolerance is only surpassed by the stupidity of people who don't share my opinion.'

'I've released my financial records, tax records, health records...is anyone interested in my position on the issues?'

A Sweeping Reform.

Barr reviews Mueller report on Trump

"Having an honest relationship with customers is admirable, but telling them that this sale is 'to get ride of all the crap we can't sell normally' might be a step too far!"

'Don't you 'shh' me.'

The World Jewish Congress meet in Hungary.