Resourceful Parent Gifts

My stroller's broken.

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

"Look Mommy, hat!"

"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."

"Mom! Don't think of me as covered with sand. Think of me as sugar coated."

'She's just great with the children.'

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

"Werewolves of London..."

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

"I'll be a little late. I'm working a double shift."

"Don't just forage - upcycle!"

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

Pappa clown views offspring in maternity window.

"I told you. . . use your inside miming."

Children in fancy dress on the way to music lessons

'If you can keep him clean for a day you can sleep in his bed tonight.'

'Where do I put the batteries?'

'Care to gaze upon the peaceful blanket of snow before I send the kids out?'

Baby tells other Baby to call.

"I miss the Augean stables."

'A generous layer of vaseline makes an excellent tickle repellent!'

What do you want, the moon on a stick?

"You have a co-pay...two cookies and a glass of milk."

"Well, my dog cleans himself that way!"

Circus Act

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

'Look Daddy: I'm wearing Mummy's shoes...'

Jeff's Smorgasbord

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

'We're playing trampoline, mom.'

"Wheeeeeeee!"

'Wendy! I'm glad you came over! I want you to see my baby's ultrasound hologram!'

"We're playing doctor and I need 50 cents for my co-pay."