Resort Escapee Gifts

"I'm sorry- I can barely hear you with this goddam ocean behind me."

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

Desert Island Mishap

"Let's go back to our cabana, get into bed and shop online."

'Do you have to be so melodramatic?'

"I took the road less traveled. Now I have no bars."

"Delivery."

Contestants defeated in the ring toss competition head back to the hotel to recharge for a late night nude hot tub partying and 'bootie shakin' erotic cage fetish dancing.

"But honey, I've spent my last 30 years pretending to look busy. I can't quit overnight."

'Is your verdict unanimous?'

"Keep in mind that it was put there by the sharks."

Stop Smoking Program.

'What do you mean you lost the keys?'

"You and your lists! You're missing out on life."

Pirates

'For Heaven's sake, Charlotte! Relax! We're on holiday!'

"Your mind is not in your work...you're probably having one of your little tropical fantasies."

"Hi, J.B. Guess where I am."

"Could you keep it down please!"

"Hold it, there's someone on my other island!"

"There goes our attorney, headed for Florida."

"It's not a rescue, it's the IRS and my ex-wife's lawyer."

"There go the summer people, thank God."

Travel Agents - Water, water, anywhere with water.

'I've got to get away from Christmas... I've got to get away...'

"Dad, there's nothing good on TV. We're bored.

'It's so frustrating -- all our coupons are expiring!'

A man sits alone on a desert island being monitored by a CCTV camera

'I hated our island vacation - everything was beautiful, but I had no cell service.'

Romance at the Beach

"We need to practice social distancing."

Man crawling onto island sees sign saying no shirt, no shoes, no service.

'We'd like to get away from reality TV.'